Archive for October 30th, 2008

Criticism and Confidence: Part 2

Post #192

To blog or not to blog
As talked about in Part 1, my artistic confidence had been shaken by an artist friend’s harsh critique. I pondered whether or not to blog about it since I have no desire to hurt her feelings. (I mean there’s nothing like a public forum discussion to make someone uncomfortable.) But in the end, I did decided to go ahead, because every artist at one time or another has had (or will have) a similar experience. As with all things it is nice to know that we are not alone in whatever we may be feeling.

I had mentioned to her that day, that I would probably blog about it, (though she may have thought I was joking.) Blogging has proved to be a bit cathartic at times. But I’ve held off for nearly two weeks for several reasons.

  • It took me several days to process and think about what went on. In the moment, I wasn’t feeling hurt. I was stunned and just kept thinking “huh?” and as I said yesterday, I wondered if I had offended her in some way. Later I did feel hurt and was grateful that I wasn’t still working on the painting (because that surely would have ruined the experience for me.) And I was relieved that I had already shipped it off. At this point I am back to feeling neutral about the experience. I am not angry or hurt, but I’ll probably be more emotionally guarded around her (at least for awhile.)

    • “What is important, is the “moving on”and not getting bogged down by someone else’s drama.”

  • I do value the friendship. For instance, she has been completely supportive of the life altering process I’ve been going through this summer. Also, she was the first artist I met when I moved to Iowa. Her helpful nature at the time, was a template for my own, when I started to mentor a few budding artists in the area.
  • I was not sure how I would look on the blog. You know, will I come off whiney or insecure after all my talk about confidence. But then I thought I promised to be honest when I started this thing. I don’t pretend to be anyone, but who I am. And since this happened to me, and it was troubling for a time. I thought I would share that even though I’ve been around the “art” block more than once, sometimes things can still throw me.

    • Why
    I’ve had several people comment both on blog and off why it happened and if perhaps she is jealous. I would have to say I doubt it. She is an outstanding artist and is well known in our area. Her work is exceptional.

    I had spent some time trying to figure out the reasons behind it all. Though I haven’t made any firm conclusions, here are some possibilities.

  • She thinks that I am arrogant and needed to be brought back to reality.
  • She was feeling emotional about something else, and her passion carried over into this.
  • She thinks my work is getting too commercial and the work was not artsy enough.
  • She thinks our friendship is strong enough to stand up to all that “honesty.”
  • Or perhaps, I completely misread the situation.

    What’s it all mean anyway?
    So, what does a harsh critique, whether by judge, fellow artist or complete stranger, really mean anyway? Does someone’s negative opinion mean the work is bad? Not salable? Does it mean that they think you are a bad artist?

    Frankly someone’s negative comment is nothing more than their opinion. And luckily everyone gets to own their own opinion. I’ve done shows where I didn’t win and should have. And shows where I’ve won and shouldn’t have. Hopefully a critique (however harsh) will if nothing else get you to look at the work a little more closely. Maybe they are right, or maybe they aren’t. Perhaps just re-evaluating the work is worth the insult?

    Resolution
    This experience did briefly taint my feelings, whenever I looked at the Colton image. However, feeling uncertain about who I am as an artist is not place I spend a lot of time. I tend to think of myself as artistically confident and tenacious.

    So what does a tenacious, confident artist do to restore harmony to her soul?

  • I go to the fund raiser and mingle a little. I meet the IERAL board members, who offer compliments and thanks. I think to myself, “yes, I did do a good thing here.“
  • I take photos and prepare some PR. I plan to do some news releases for the local newspapers, art rags and horse art mags.
  • I plan a new painting. Letting it all go and enjoying the creative experience completely.

    • Success breeds confidence. I’ve had enough success’s to not be bothered by this for long. Her reasons for behaving the way she did, or even if she was aware of how harsh she was being, is irrelevant in regards to this post.

    What is important is the “moving on” and not getting bogged down by someone else’s drama. Whenever someone tells me “You can’t do that, or your not good enough.” I just think “You, just watch me!”

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