Fur In The Paint

As a long time gallery cat, Budda has generously agreed to answers your art and/or cat related questions around the first of every month. Or whenever he feels like it. Budda also now has his own lens on Squidoo containing all the cat related questions from this column.

Oh wise and wonderful Budda,
I was wondering if you could explain why my cat Kitty Kisses likes to wake my up by batting at my face every morning hours before sunrise? As long as she has food and water during the night, she ignores me completely after this wake up call.

Thank you,
Rude awakening in Rochester.

Dear Rude Awakening,
The short answer is . . . because it’s funny.

No but seriously, the real reason she does this is . . . umm . . . No . . . You know I’m gonna have to stick with . . . because it’s funny.

Oh great oracle of catnipness…
When my cat scooter (my buddy for over 12 years) licks my arm his tongue is like sandpaper. When he wakes me up by licking my nose his tongue is very soft. Apparently you guys can control your tongue’s roughness? How does that work?

Scooter’s human Nate

Dear Scooter’s Pet, err . . . I meant Scooter’s human,
We cats have several different kinds of licks. I personally have 37 variations. The great Morpheous was said to have 93 subtle variations on licks. But I won’t trouble you with all of that information. Both of your licks fall into the “I Love You” category (as opposed to the “Let Me Taste This” or “Eeeuw somethings on my fur! Get it off! Get it off!”) Within each of these categories are many subcategories.

So the first type of lick we’re talking about here is a “grooming” lick which is something we only do to someone we love. Namely ourselves, but occasionally our humans as well. And the second is “Wake Up And Give Me Something” lick. Also clearly done with love since it’s gentle. Scooter clearly adores you since he licks instead of . . . well slaps you. As for myself and apparently other cats like Kitty Kisses, slapping is a way more enjoyable way to wake people up.

As to the technical aspect we cats have barbed tongues, which I’m sure you already know. By varying the pressure we can adjust the raspy-ness of our licks.

And Now A Few Words From Budda As To Why Spaying Or Neutering IS Important.

My predecessor Oliver the gallery cat, hated children. If someone under 4 foot entered the gallery he hid until they left. I myself don’t mind them too much but have also been forced to flee when things got a little too “touchy feely.”

Some humans have a tendency to let their young run wild. As my human is an artist she has noticed this on more than one occasion during the art fairs she partakes in. Now I’m not talking about the usual snot nosed, sticky fingered thing where parents say “don’t touch” then completely ignore the child as they run amok touching absolutely everything. No, what I speak here are worse offenses . . . by the parents. I have heard stories that would turn me prematurely gray, if I were not already gray.

So here are three to illustrate my point.
The first was just recently at an event where a neighboring artist (a potter) had a beautiful floor vase of about 3 foot tall selling for many hundreds of tins of catfood. An unchecked child with a newly purchased wood sword was whacking it thoroughly enjoying the melodic gonging noises it made. The potter got up and asked the boy nicely if he could see his sword. The child quickly yanks it behinds his back and asks why. The Potter says (also quite nicely), “So I can beat you with it.” The child dashes away presumably to find the protection of his wayward parents.

As always, those of you who are googling for enlightenment . . . this ain’t it.

Another is not so much a story as an incident, tells of when a parent drops a child in the middle of a booth and says stay here I’ll be back in 10 minutes. Umm . . . what?

And lastly my owner herself had a moment where a young boy wanted a painting for his room. Parents of course said no and left the booth, and the child behind. The pouting boy starts kicking the low hanging painting. As he appeared to have no plans on stopping Mona gets up and goes to his parents who are sitting about 15 feet from the booth facing away hoping that by ignoring their child they wouldn’t have to deal with his tantrum. She says to them (very nicely, though totally seriously) if the boy kicks the painting one more time, they will own it.

So people please understand that an art fair (you know what, let’s make that anywhere that isn’t your own home) is not a free version of daycare. If you have wild kids or . . . well, heck any kind of kids it is your responsibility to keep them in control. The people who say “it takes a village to raise a child” are usually the ones who let them run like savages.
Budda

Note: Some of these “questions” were based on search terms that brought people to my blog. And some were posed by readers of this blog. Most of the names have been changed to protect the innocent. If anyone has any questions they’d like to submit for Budda’s review, you are all welcome to do so. Just leave a comment here or contact me directly

So being a person who has a mild interest in all things marketing and image branding, and well . . . cat food, I did a double take yesterday while perusing the cat food isle in our local grocery.

I mean I literally passed by, stopped and looked back over my shoulder and then backed up. Sitting there was stacks and stacks of a brand of pet food I’d never seen before. But what actually caught my attention was the picture on the can.

It appeared to be a boy, leaning over a large bowl, lapping up milk (and since it was a cat food can, well it seems a logical conclusion perhaps there is cat food in the bowl as well.) Regardless, here’s this kid apparently eating while sadistically forcing his hungry kitten to watch. The way the boy is hunched over clearly indicates that he is not sharing.

Yeah okay, on closer inspection (much closer because the actual picture is less than 1/2″ tall and the text it teeny tiny. Photo below blown up 4x actual size) it says something about teaching his cat to drink from a water fountain. Which still makes no sense and certainly doesn’t help sell cat food.

Where was this company’s focus group? I’m pretty sure I could have come up with something better on my worst day. Seriously what cat food company marketing geniuses thought this picture (plastered on every single variety of food they sell) was a good idea?

Of course I instantly thought I’d tell you guys about it, so I bought a can.

Ah . . . wait.

(repeating aloud to self) . . . so I bought a can . . .

Touche’ cat food company marketing geniuses.

Touche’

I’ve gone from Fur In The Paint, To Fur In The Paper, to Fur In The Everything.
Well the Budda is slimming down for summer. And by “slimming down” I mean dropping about 5 pounds of fur daily. It is everywhere. Rolling along the floor like some some bizarre cat induced tumbleweeds, sticking onto and into any fabric items, or floating like wispy snow flakes through the air. I often find a random hair in my mouth, up my nose or even less pleasant places. How can one little cat drop so much hair?

He is a double coated cat (as are nearly all of our barn cats) so we know this is what happens every spring. But somehow it is always a shock. The quantity is a bit mind boggling and even the vacuum cleaning is beginning to groan. It’s not like he doesn’t get brushed regularly. He does. And we even have a shedding comb that takes off enough hair to create a sweater with matching booties for an average sized Chihuahua. Despite all of these efforts there’s still more.

The Allure Of Belly Fur
We had a friend stop at the gallery and scoop up Budda for a cuddle. (Which Budda really appreciated because Mike and I had been ignoring his pleas for attention. Mike was working with the printer and I was shrinkwrapping prints. Both jobs where additional cat hair is not a plus.) I warned her about the “shedding issue” and she poo-pooed it and rubbed her face in his belly fur. (Honestly his belly fur is particular hard to resist rubbing your face in. It’s bunny soft and frankly how many cats not only let you, but “like to” have your face on their tummies?)

Well for the next 20 minutes and the rest of our conversation, she was wiping her face at phantom hairs.

Furry inventions (sort of)
Feeling badly about not giving Budda nearly as much attention and cuddles as he’s used to, Mike and I pondered a cat holding smock. Something to put on in order to cuddle the kitten and remove when done. This seemed like a pretty straight forward idea but lacked any real defense against the “floaters.”

Upon more serious discussion, we then came up with the idea of some sort of hermetically sealed box where you put your hands through the gloves to pet the cat. Thus containing all the cat hair that is set free from said petting. We dubbed it The Cat Cuddler (trumpets sound) aka The Budda Box

In the end we decided we’d continue to do as we have done, which is cuddle the cat at the end of the day. At least until his fur issue is brought under control. None-the-less we claim all rights to this idea. So I don’t want to see a bunch of cat boxes popping up in pet supply chains. You know I’ll be watching for them.

Note: I imagine The Cat Cuddler is “technically” not hermetically sealed sine it has air holes. Hmmm . . . I may have to do some rethinking on that.

The Cat CuddlerAlso Known As The Budda Box.

So I am leaving for a couple of days for another paper making excursion with my dear friend Connie Herring. I thought I’d leave you a parting gift of a feel good photo of my Ollie when he was a baby.

How cute is he?

BTW Oliver was my first gallery cat. It was he who taught me that I wasn’t necessarily a dyed in the wool “dog person.” I found him as an orphan in a ditch on one of my daily walks in late October. He was very young (he could easily fit in my hand - the mousy toy is about 1″ long) half froze and starved, his momma had left him. AT that time our barn cats were onle a few step away from feral so instinct told them to abandon kittens born so late in the season.

Anyway the day i found him, I had a city meeting (our version of chamber of commerce) and since he was so weak and chilled I just tucked him in my jacket and carried him around on my shoulder (one of the few times being large chested is an asset.) He slept the entire meeting until it was over, then he woke up gave a tiny mew. Immediately everyone had to see him and he got passed around and received all sort of love and affections.

It took me about a week to decide to make him my gallery cat. I had never had an indoor cat so this was a big step for me. He was my gallery cat for almost 4 years before he passed away quite unexpectedly just before Christmas. At the time I had barely begun blogging and used several posts to explore my loss of him. I keep this photo (and many others) hanging in the gallery as I still miss him though it’s been a couple of years already.

As a long time gallery cat, Budda has generously agreed to answers your art and/or cat related questions around the first of every month.

Dear Mr Budda,
I am planning on decorating for Halloween. How long will Oil Pastel last on the outside of a brick building?
Signed Greasy Bricks.

Dear Greasy Bricks
I don’t actually know, but if it sticks to brick anything like it sticks to the gallery floor, it will last a long, looonnnng time.

Oh great and wise Budda,
Recently a black cat crossed my path. Are black cats really unlucky?
Signed Superstitious in Seattle

Dear Superstitious,
No, black cats are not unlucky. Well . . . not unless you’re the black cat.

I have it on good authority (from a woman who works at one of the top ten animal shelters in the nation) that black cats are far harder to adopt out. Their features aren’t as easy to see but also people have foolish superstitious notions.

I have a proud heritage and come from a long line of distinguished black cats. At one time, my birth farm was almost all black cats (about 13 of them I think.) And just look how lucky my human is. I am pretty sure she thanks her lucky stars everyday for having the gift of me in her life.

As always, those of you who are googling for enlightenment . . . this ain’t it.

Dear Mr. Budda,
Do dogs and cats believe in an afterlife?
Curious About Kitty

Dear Curious,
Cats do, but dogs don’t. Now I know what your thinking. But before you start judging me as a speciest, I’ll explain why I believe dogs aren’t as self aware as we cats.

Dogs have spent the last thousand years or so becoming “man’s best friend” (I really hate that moniker) through hard work and obedience. All that herding of livestock and retrieving of sticks have left them no time for deep introspective thought. I mean really, they spend all their free time at the feet of their humans waiting for their next command. . . and drooling.

Ummm . . . yeah. . . Anyway, since we cats shun both hard work and obedience, we have a lot of free time to just ponder the mysteries of the universe and our place within it.

Recently L. from Iowa wrote,
I wonder what advice Budda has for an artist to cat-apult to success, and what “success” might mean to Budda.

Dear L,
As I stated in the previous question we cats avoid work at all costs. So success to me is enjoying the simple pleasures in life. A full tummy, a warm spot in the sun and someone to love and be loved in return.

How does a human achieve their own personal artistic goals for success? Bliss through toil baby. Bliss through toil.

Note: these “questions” were based on search terms that brought people to my blog as well as reader questions. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. If anyone has any questions they’d like to submit for Budda’s review, you are all welcome to do so. Just leave a comment here or contact me directly

If you want a couple of Halloween stories to tell to your “kitties” here’s a couple of my favorite blog stories about me.

“Boo”dda the Naughty kitten
Tale (or is it tail?) of the Slap Happy Kitty

As a long time gallery cat, Budda has generously agreed to answers your art and/or cat related questions around the first of every month.

Dear Mr Budda,
My cat, Miss Priss is always washing herself. If she’s really that dirty shouldn’t I help out by bathing her?
Signed All Washed Up

Dear All Washed Up
No. I suggest you let your cat bathe herself, or else her hair will stick to your tongue, something wicked.

Dear The Budda,
I am an art student and my instructor says that I have kissing issues. Since I’m not sure what that means, how do I avoid kissing?
Signed The Puckered Painter

Dear Puckered,
Well when my human looks like she is about to plant one on the top of my head I usually put my feet on her chin, lock my legs, close my eyes and twist my face away while mentally screaming “No. . . for the love of God, nooooooo!.” and then . . .

Oh wait. I bet your instructor was referring to kissing in the artistic sense.

Kissing as it applies to art is where one object touches (or almost touches) another object or the edge of artwork. In general kissing is seen as a novice mistake but many professional “kiss” intentionally. . . and sometimes not. To avoid kissing simply make any connections between objects (or the edge of the artwork) solid and into said object deeper than it’s edge. As with all rules, first you must learn them before you start breaking them.

As always, those of you who are googling for enlightenment . . . this ain’t it.

Dear Mr Budda,
I’ve noticed that once a genre’ becomes popular, for instance around here Tuscan scenes and wine bottles are all the rage, it seems that many artists quite doing what they do and start to paint the current trend.

Why do so many artists do this instead of creating work that is true to who they are?
Signed Wide-Eyed Wonderer

Dear Wonderer,
I don’t know why $ome arti$t$ paint the late$t fad. But I re$pect their right to do $o. And $o $hould you.

Note: these “questions” were based on search terms that brought people to my blog. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Budda is currently working hard (well, as hard as any cat works) on a special Ask The Budda: Halloween Edition. If anyone has any questions they’d like to submit for Budda’s review, you are all welcome to do so. Just leave a comment here or contact me directly

As a long time gallery cat Budda has generously agreed to answers your art and/or cat related questions around the first of every month.

Dear Mr Budda,
I think I am suffering from a creative block. What is it and how can I get over it?
Signed All Stopped Up

Dear Stopped Up,
Creative block is just feeling like you have nothing to say accompanied with the overwhelming urge to say something. My advice is if you have something to say, say it. Otherwise just enjoy the silence.

Dear Mr. Budda,
Why does my cat Sugglebottoms keep shoving his toys under the door. Seriously what’s the point of that? Is there something wrong with him?
Signed Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused,
I don’t know what your talking about. I’m sure those wily toys are simply trying to make a break for it (so they can plot the end of the universe in private) and your cat is heroically trying to stop them. I know my toys are always hiding themselves under rugs, in planters, under the couch and in bags. Toys are way smarter than your giving them credit for, as is your cat.

As always, those of you who are googling for enlightenment . . . this ain’t it.

I suggest you praise your kitty for a job well done and get him more treats! The tender fishy kind, not those hard “good for you but tastes like dirt” kind.

Dear Mr. Budda,
How do I remove paint from cat fur?
Signed Out of Options

Dear Out of Options,
Why are you painting your cat anyway?
Stop it! Stop it right now!

Note: these “questions” were based on search terms that brought people to my blog. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. If anyone has any questions they’d like to submit for Budda’s review, you are all welcome to do so. Just leave a comment here or contact me directly

I was looking on Melanie’s blog the other day and she mentioned a couple of pet portrait friends had come over for a visit. So I followed their links back and was once again impressed with the skill they possess at capturing not only the likeness but also the personality of their subjects. All that talent got me inspired to try to do Budda.

He is such a mischievous little bugger that I thought perhaps him napping might be a nice change of pace. You know . . . something I could reflect on art wise. So when he has done something really naughty, I can look at it and sigh wistfully.

The opportunity to take a couple of candid snaps presented itself much sooner than expected. He was passed out on the rug in a spot of sunshine after a full afternoon of pushing my buttons by climbing on top every surface in the gallery, where he is not allowed.

Okay here’s the odd bit. He meows to get my attention when he’s being bad. Oh yes, he knows he’s not supposed to be on my framing table (nothing more annoying than having to open up a frame because Budda left a calling card hair inside). But if my attention is otherwise occupied he wants to make sure I know he is being bad. I mean really what fun is being bad if no one “knows” your being bad.

So he meows plaintively, like he is hurt or lost. I come in slightly worried only to see him him lazing on some surface. I swear he mentally says “Tah Dah!” I growl a “Get down!” I am relieved he is okay and annoyed he has once again tricked me into rewarding his bad behavior by doing exactly what he wanted, And then he flees the room quite proud of himself. Only to meow 15 minutes later from another counter in another room. (I am seriously thinking of getting him a pet dog to keep him entertained.) Perhaps he is bored, but Mike and I give that cat so much attention and affection and . . . Oops got a little lost from my topic there.

So I see him napping and I grab the camera and gently ease myself down onto the rug with him. Yeah okay, so I should have guessed that as soon as he had my undivided attention he’d quit napping.

He promptly gets up and comes over for a cuddle. It’s hard to remember that I am annoyed with him when he is all warm and purring against my cheek. Little plushkin knows just how to play me.

Nothing here is portrait worthy. I’ll try again as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Well . . . that’s not quite right. And it certainly wasn’t cat-astrophic. It is more like Cat-pain in the butt.

It was my fault really (I wonder . . . if by taking the blame am I enabling?) I left my painting water out. It has been so long since I did a water color pencil piece that I had forgotten Budda’s love affair with drinking and playing in my rinse water. (During this painting he hadn’t touched it until today.)

My first clue that something was up was when I hear Mreow! from the other room, followed by him rapidly fleeing the scene of the crime. Since I didn’t see what happened all I can do is use my highly tuned investigative knowledge and piece together the trail of evidence.

I’m guessing: He started with the drinking of the rinse water “ummm, tastes so good” When he drank his fill, he must have splashed around in it abit. Upon getting bored he noticed the paint brushes sitting behind the water dish. (Best cat toy in the world those furry sticks.) Since the only way to get to them was to go through my water, well so be it. Water spilled all over my pencils (a rainbow of color begins to puddle), brushes fall to the floor in a clatter, and he dashes away as I say in a combination slightly worried/slightly annoyed way Budda!

Fortunately the painting is fine. I just got to spend the next 20 minutes drying each of my 30 or so pencils (one at a time) and mopping up my table and the floor.

And Budda . . . well he sat grooming himself on the couch in a warm patch of sunlight.

Today I was greeted by the pleasant surprise that Budda and I are featured with a story, as cat lady #32 for 2009 on the 365 Cat Ladies Blog.

It’s a fun site with charming and whimsical artwork by Susan Faye, especially for the feline fanatics among us. (A sample of her art is shown here to the left. )

She has a great CafePress store where you can get all sorts of her artwork on stuff like cups and totes. What fun! (Makes me think about trying a little something with CafePress.)

Anway, she’s also on the lookout for cat stories, so anyone got something they want to share should go visit her site as well. And feel free to leave a comment, she’d love to hear your thoughts.